Make Yourself Much More Popular

By William Eugene Malley III copyright 2005   If you are reading this, you are of above average intelligence.  Dullard's don't, as a general rule, worry about whether they are popular are not.  As you know, with increased intelligence comes increased sensitivity.    The purpose of this page is to help you figure out what's been going wrong, and to help you change your situation for the better.  First we need to answer a couple of questions.  (1) Who is the most annoying person you know? Someone who's in your peer group, not a boss, or a much older person, or a much younger person.  (2) Who is your favorite person. Once again it has to be someone in your peer group.  Someone roughly your own age.   Take 20 or 30 seconds and really think about it.  Get two specific people in mind.   Now we are going to discuss those Two people.  We'll get back to you in a moment.

  This person;

Has a down or negative attitude.

Usually tries to dominate the conversation.  Is more interested in talking then listening.

Usually tries to give you advice, even when he or she doesn't fully understand the situation.

Doesn't have much respect for honesty, and is devious.

Almost always has something bad to say about someone.

Uses 30 words when five would get the job done.

Always tries to find ways to top to you. You tell a joke, he or she doesn't laugh, they just tell you what they think is a better one. Your not feeling well, they say they feel worse.

Always try to make any problem about them.

Dismisses your opinion, and tries to force you to adopt theirs.

If criticized, no matter how minor, either erupts, or sulks.

Doesn't usually make their personal appearance, or hygiene, a very high priority.

Always hangs around much longer than they should.

Talks to loud, is vulgar, rude, or overly animated.

    This person;

Has a up beat, positive attitude.

Usually allows you to finish your sentences, is more interested in listening then talking.

Usually listens to you, and avoids giving you advice, especially in situations when he or she doesn't fully understand. Asks you what you think you should do.

Avoids any dishonesty, or even the appearance of impropriety.

Never says anything bad about anyone, and even defends others.

Uses only five words when when five get the job done.

Always tries to find ways to be encouraging, even when you've done something stupid.

Always sees problems is something to solve, not something blame someone for.

listens to your opinion, and respects it, but insists on the right to disagree.

Takes criticism well, if at fault vows to do better in future.

Usually pays attention to their appearance and personal hygiene.

Always leaves while you still want them to stay.

Speaks quietly, is never vulgar, rude, or overly animated.

  No one can fit completely into list number one, or list number two, but everyone on the planet fits partially in both.  Now the next question; which one of these people would you say is going to be more popular?

  Of course, it's going to be list number two.  Our mission on this page, is to get you as far into list number two as we can. Do you think anyone could get completely into list number two?  As far as I know there's only been one person, and his name was Jesus Christ.  No, don't get excited, this isn't a religious page. But if you think about it, he is one of the most influential men in history, and according to doctrine, he did, or does, fit into the second list. Makes you think, doesn't it.

  Now we'll get back to you.  How much of yourself do you see in each of those lists?  Be honest no one is going to ever know but you.   So; "We has met the enemy, and he are us"._sic

  You are about to receive a list of 13 rules, If you follow as many of them as you can, each and every day, within a week or two you will have people flocking around you.  As you get the rules we will discuss each one a little further.

RULE 1; ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING KEEP IT UPBEAT
  Quite often it is difficult to keep an up attitude.  When that happens your best bet is to fake it. That might seem phony at first glance, but it's not. Psychologists had a group of volunteers pretend to be in a good mood, after less than an hour, most of them reported that they actually found that they were feeling good. This is known as the power of positive thinking.  Some days you will have to work really hard at being in a good mood, but after a while it will come naturally. You will find that everyone will react to you differently, it's really worth the effort.  If you can only follow one of the rules, this is the one, nobody likes a gloomy Gus.  Most gloomy Gus's only use that attitude to try and get sympathy or attention, you're better than that.

RULE 2; LISTEN LISTEN LISTEN THEN LISTEN SOME MORE
  It's been said many times that to be a great conversationalist your best bet is to keep your mouth shut.  Some people talk almost constantly, they're afraid to allow a quiet moment, it makes them uncomfortable.  If you find yourself in a situation where there's an uncomfortable pause, ask a question.  Everyone likes to answer questions about themselves, unless they are to personal.  Never interrupt anyone with an answer, when they're asking a question, wait until they're through, you might be trying to answer wrong question. This can make you look really dumb.

RULE 3; NEVER GIVE ADVICE TAKE IT WITH CAUTION
  Everyone on the planet enjoys giving advice, but free advice is worth about what you pay for it.  Resist the urge to tell someone what they should do with all the willpower you have. If you are right, it was their idea, if you were wrong you get blamed.  Giving advice is almost always no win situation, there are exceptions, but they're very rare.  If you take someone's advice, always remember that you're putting it on the line, if it goes bad you are going to pay the price.

RULE 4; HONESTY IS ALWAYS BEST BUT DON'T BE CRUEL
  The first person you must be honest with, is yourself.  We all tell ourselves little lies to make it through the day. You know the kind; It's only a small piece of cheesecake. I'll pay that bill next week. One more beer won't hurt.  Etc. "Honesty is the best policy" is a very old saying.  Why?  Because it's very true.  If you're always honest you don't even need a good memory. I think you'll agree there is nothing worse than being caught in a lie. Try to be honest in everything you say and do, but don't use honesty as an excuse to hurt someone.  A harmless white lie to spare someone's feelings is allowed.  I don't think anyone can live a completely honest life in today's society, but we can all do better by working at it.

RULE 5; NEVER SPREAD GOSSIP OR HURTFUL THINGS
  Hearsay evidence is never allowed in court, so you shouldn't allow yourself to be trapped in it either.  Everyone has done something dumb or embarrassing at one time or another, but no one wants it spread around. Anyone who gossips is only trying to make themselves look more important, at the expense of us some other poor human being. Once again, you are better than that.  It's much better to have the reputation of either dismissing gossip, or defending the person who's being gossiped about.

RULE 6; USE AS FEW WORDS AS POSSIBLE
  Almost all the annoying people I know use 30 words when five would do the job.  Why?  They enjoy having the floor, it makes them feel important, some people talk just to hold everyone's attention as long as possible.  A trick I use is;  I never use more words than the person I'm talking to. at times I actually count their words, and then count my words mentally, I'm always quite proud of myself when my word total is less than theirs. Be concise in everything you say, people will genuinely appreciate it. If you are distressed by pauses, always ask a question.

RULE 7; YOU ARE SPECIAL YOU DON'T NEED TO TOP ANYONE
  You know the kind of person were talking about here. The one who says he or she has the best house, the best car, is the fastest runner. As a general rule these people are very insecure, and desperately want to be liked for what they have or what they can do, since they feel that everybody knows that they're not something special. Be patient with them, they're green, they'll grow.

RULE 8; DON'T PLACE BLAME WORK TO FIX IT
  Whenever a problem comes up, there are two kinds of people, the kind of people who want to run around trying to find out who's fault it was, and the kind of people who get busy trying to fix the problem.  Don't be the former, always try to be the latter.  It takes a certain amount of courage to just get to work, because everyone will have the feeling that; what if I'm blamed for the problem? I'm sure whoever is in charge knows who causes problems, don't worry about it, just get to work. If it turns out that it was your fault, by getting to work fixing it, you've mitigated most of the damage. Do your best to never place blame.

RULE 9; RESPECT OTHER PEOPLE'S OPINION BUT DON'T GIVE UP YOUR OWN
  When you are trying to become more popular, you may feel that giving in to other peoples opinion is the smart thing to do. Don't do it.  It will make you look weak, indecisive, or just plain dumb. It's not necessary to force your opinion on other people, but then again you don't have to be a doormat. If quiet debate doesn't solve the problem, just say; "I have a right to my opinion, you have a right to yours."(no matter how dumb I think it is) If you have to agree to every opinion your friends have, they aren't really your friends.

RULE 10; DON'T CRITICIZE ANYONE UNLESS YOU'RE PAID TO DO IT
  The only time you should criticize anyone is when it is part of your job, Then do it very carefully and gently.  A criticism should always be constructive, you should suggest ways that the problem could be solved.  Criticizing other people hurts them, always keep that in mind.

RULE 11; STAY AS CLEAN AND NEAT AS YOU CAN
  Different people have different ideas about what neat and clean is. Take a good look at the people you want to be friends with.  Try to dress close to the way they dress, the same with your hair, beard, or makeup. This doesn't mean you should be a clone, just keep in mind that if you've been dressing strangely, trying to stand out, that that's not a good idea if you want to be really popular. And stay away from tattoos and piercings. When you're 48 they'll look pretty stupid.

RULE 12; ALWAYS LEAVE WHEN THEY STILL WANT YOU TO STAY
  This rule doesn't mean you have to leave halfway through the party, but when a few people have left, it's time for you to go. Nothing will get you invited to a party faster, then knowing you'll go home when you should.

RULE 13; SPEAK SOFTLY BE POLITE AND NO FOUL LANGUAGE
  This one is kind of self-explanatory, don't be loud, be courteous, and watch your language.

  If you work as hard as you can to follow these rules, you will probably find yourself more popular in the first two or three days. But it may take as long as a month to overcome the mistakes you made in the past. I suggest you reread this entire page once a day for the first week. You will slipup, you will fall into your old patterns, don't worry about it,  just keep trying.  For the first week or so, you should carry a copy of the rules with you.  I recommend that you read them for four or five times a day.   Print out copies of the rules and put them where you will see them several times every day. Soon you will know the rules by heart.
  Below I have placed printer friendly copies of the rules. Please recommend this page to any of your friends who are having problems with their popularity.  And last but not least, please by a copy of; "The Shan Creek Gang." Sincerely; William Eugene Malley III

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